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Cave Man Cannibals

"Some archaeologists have interpreted (similar) marks as evidence of cannibalism." - Torquay Museum (CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE)

“Ya know what I think? No.”

Over in Devon, England, it seems the folks were cleaning the basement at the Torquay Museum and “re-discovered” what you see in the pic to the left, which has been sitting there since 1866.

Museum staffers are identifying this clump as a 9,000 year old human arm bone with knife marks, evidence supporting the theory that cave men and/or women and children were cannibals.

Dr. Rick Schulting, of the University of Oxford’s School of Archaeology, said: “Finds like this highlight the complexity of  the Mesolithic (Middle Stone Age), many thousands of years before the appearance of farming,” suggesting that cave people ate cave people because they had no knowledge of other comestibles like cows, nuts, twigs, berries and their veggies.

Pass Dr. Rick the A-1 sauce, please. If his bone is only 9,000 years old, how do we  explain the purpose of irrigation and contour plowing invented by Mesopotamian farm boys hoeing the “Fertile Crescent” of the Near East some 11,000 years ago? A little exercise, to, perhaps, build up the appetite before dining of the neighbours?

Take a good look at the photo and the striations circled as “proof” of “knife marks.” First off, I’m having a hard go of imaging a hungry cannibal rummaging the kitchen silver drawer for a steak knife. I mean, was it considered poor form to eat with your fingers during the Stone Age? Secondly, given the tiny precision and sparsity of these marks, one can only conclude this cave cannibal to be an extraordinarily dainty diner, and not very hungry, at that.

Me thinks ticket sales are down at the Torquay, and nothing says summer holiday like a trip to ye olde museum for the cannibal bone expo. Make mine rare.

Archaeologists thinking about what there is to think about.