“The higher mileage and emissions standards set by the Obama administration on Tuesday, which begin to take effect in 2012 and are to be achieved by 2016, will transform the American car and truck fleet.”
We’ll see. While it may be politically expedient to scapegoat the auto industry into re-writing the laws of physics, instead, we stand to be better served if we simply take responsibility and stop – serving ourselves!
According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control), two-thirds of all Americans over the age of twenty are overweight, and one-third are obese.
Overweight means you are twenty pounds heavier than where you should be, and obese means any weight over twenty 20 pounds.
The average American (all age groups) is twenty-five pounds heavier than he/she was in 1960, with the trend going the wrong way – up!
The year 2016 is within sight, and while I can appreciate certain engineering efficiencies, I’m drawing a blank in visualizing a car designed to defy gravity. Today’s 2,000 pound Mini Cooper, or like, will indeed be a marvel and salvation of mankind when adapted to move (at all) with half it’s weight in payload – an average family of four.
The paucity of which we dedicate toward solving solvable problems never ceases to amaze, and please consider this. The equivalent of each overweight to obese driver in America losing twenty pounds, is the same as the elimination of 18,000,000 drivers from the streets. Does anybody see the savings?
Meet PUMA. 21st Century transportation for two with roll-bar standard. It's, a Segway with a seat.
What happens when a GM executive and/or a KPCB California venture capitalist can’t sleep and sees way too many “let the government pay for it” Scooter Store ads on TV?
“Ladies and gentlemen of the Taxpayer Extraction Committee – meet PUMA.”
This is – sad. All those billions of taxpayer dollars, all that hope, all gone, with this re-discovery of – the wheelchair. If we weren’t in such a mess, I’d think this was funny, a “fooled you,” kind of joke. Regretfully, these guys are are dead, seriously.
The Puma, or “Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility” (vehicle) is what General Motors and Segway, Inc. have unveiled in a “eureka, genius” presentation as the solution to all that ails the world’s transportation, fossil fuel, temperature and economic woes.
Recorded evidence of the wheelchair dates back to 6th century B.C. China
“We’re excited about doing more with less,” said Jim Norrod, chief executive of Segway, the Bedford, N.H.-based maker of electric scooters. “Less emissions, less dependability on foreign oil and less space.” Hopefully, Jim can add “taxpayer dollars” to his list of less things.
Larry Burns, GM’s vice president of research and development, and strategic planning, said the project is part of Detroit-based GM’s effort to remake itself as a purveyor of fuel-efficient vehicles. “If Hummer took GM to the large-vehicle extreme,” Burns said; “the PUMA takes GM to the other.” Come April 15, be sure to send a little extra to the IRS to ensure the future of Larry’s job with this one.
Burns argued that some of the most revolutionary ideas have been born out of tough economic times, but no examples came to mind. If this is all there is, you’ll get no argument from me that bankruptcy is a more viable “revolution.”
History should be a lesson, and caveat emptor – this. When Segway was introduced in 2001, John Doerr, the silicon valley hi-tech pitch kid, aka; venture capitalist, funded this ne’er-do-well innovation with speculator’s money, selling his predictions that the company would be the fastest ever to reach a billion dollars in sales. His crystal ball was a might clouded, and thus far, $100 million +, has admittedly been spent developing the scooter, with only about 30,000 units and lots of red ink produced.
It should not escape notice, or result in any raised eyebrows, that In February, 2009, John Doerr was appointed by Barack Obama as a member to the President’s Economic Recovery Advisory Board (PERAB), to provide the president and his administration with advice and counsel in fixing America’s economic downturn. This is the group chaired by Obama’s campaign economic adviser; Austin Goolsbee, who defended use of the sub-prime mortgage. Yikes. Folks, hang on to your goggles, we’re in for a really bumpy ride.
Using all venues to express empathy with the public’s economic neuralgia, President Obama hosted an “LCD-side chat,” over the Internet last night, cherry-picking six of the 92,000 questions or concerns deemed worthy of presidential feedback. Ostensibly, marijuana was high on the list, and Mr. Obama lit up the crowd in laughter with his thoughts.
We are, again, not amused.
On legalization and taxation of pot as a revenue stream, Obama cynically prefaced with; “I don’t know what that says about the online audience.”
Deja vu. The Obama-styled “gallows humor” on 60 Minutes this past Sunday was enough. For most of us, including Steve Kroft, this is simply not helping; “to get us (sic) through the day.”
I realize marijuana issues are a big concern to many, and that’s just fine with me, really, it is. Additionally, I take Mr. Obama on word in multi-tasking acumen that he can, “walk, and chew gum,” but his efforts to distract focus from real concerns is getting disconcerting. The issue is still; “the economy, stupid.”
In the presidential web forum, on the subject of marijuana, some of the respondents were sincere. Likewise, others were disingenuous, likely just trying to kid the president a bit, but there again, maybe not. Reverse “gallows humor” perhaps? Consider that people sometimes say and do “funny” things when their circumstances are dire and are perceived as unavoidable. “Shrinks” will tell you this a mature, and common defense mechanism.
The “audience” on the Internet is no different from that which is not. Venue notwithstanding, maintaining your audience in this sense, requires a show with real purpose and above all, hope.
Anybody notice where I put the remote flipper thing?
Years ago, somebody made Andre Agassi say; image is everything, and Nike sold a bunch of made in China sneakers. Little did they figure, Andre’s hair receded quickly, and then, that double-faulted that.
AIG becomes the new "419"
AIG and the country of Nigeria now share the same problem. Both are furiously pulling out their hair, trying to come up with anything to restore that group-hug endearment both once publicly garnered.
People don’t exactly hum “kumbaya” when you bring up the subject of the world’s biggest scamming company and/or country, and changing your name ain’t easy or cheap. Think all those road signs, ball fields, bic pens, squeezie-balls, flags, military uniforms and such – it adds up fast.
Remember Enron, WorldCom, Vivendi and East Germany, to name bomb a few brands? Each spent hundreds of millions on new monikers and, sometimes it works, and other times, well, when you’re dead, you really are – dead.
AIG is testing the marquee’s with “AIU Holdings, Ltd.,” whilst Nigeria is beating the bushes with “Nigeria: Good People, Great Country.” I say; bluh and re-bluh. Neither one of these is going to work, but, after a Eureka moment, I’ve come up with identy solutions for both, and it’s dirt cheap – my gift, perfect for a cash-strapped company and/or country.
Stay with me on this. Numbers are everywhere and tres trendy right now, but not big numbers. (Numbers Fashion Tip: avoid the faux pas of mixing digits and commas, lest you look like a politician or a derivatives trader – so, 20th century in our new, hip, less is better, society). So, I’m saying AIG becomes the small number “419,” which is already widely known as the penal code section of Nigerian law covering spam scams and criminal activity. I mean, Nigeria won’t be needing this anymore, and 419 will easily fit on the AIG signs without commas, right? Genius.
Nigerian Embassy on M Street in Washington, DC showing it's aig.
For Nigeria, I’m thinking; “Nigeria, coming of AIG,” because “aig” sounds like “age,” if you pronounce it in European, and anything and everything European is a slam-Swedish meatball these days, n’est pas?
Yes, I realize Nigeria is not exactly in Europe, but that’s of no matter. Sacre bleu and wtf, it’s a small planet, and even the almost Vice President Sara Palin was clueless of the whereabouts of Africa for chrissakes, so what’s the diff? And besides, major bonus – talk about savings on signage, oy! I’ll betcha Ed Liddy will let that AIG alphabet trio go for a World Beat.
Let’s face it: rearing children in a recession is not easy. Sure, it’s nowheres’ near as hard as when you had to ride the bus to school and stuff, but still, it’s a bear.
Experts agree, it’s best to be open with your kids when it comes to talking about life-altering issues like safe sex, the birds and the bees (possible unsafe sex), and credit default swaps. Teach your children well, because, if they don’t catch a glow from you, they’ll just pick it all up in grad school or on Wall Street somewheres’ else.
SOMEWHERE IN SAY, CONNECTICUT, USA…
Timmy Geithner volunteers the real dope on Credit Default Swaps to his Derivatives class.
TEACHER:Ok, class, let’s open our books to Derivatives, and who can give us an example of a Credit Default Swap?
TIMMY: (giving furious hand wave) Well, it’s like this. Every day, like clockwork, Daddy, who has more money than Carter has liver pills, gives me a quarter for milk money. Patsy, here says; “Chump, no way he’s going to be able to keep that up, but if you give me a dime every day, I promise that when your Daddy goes broke and quits, you will still get a quarter every day.” So, I’m thinking, hmm, this is not a bad thing, because, knowing Daddy, well, better to be safe than sorry.
Now, Bernard back there hears what’s going on, and asks; “Hey Patsy, I got a dime, how can I get a piece of that action?” Well, Patsy gives him the same deal, and feels pretty happy with herself for getting twenty cents for like, doing nothing.
Now, out of the blue, Mommy and Daddy decide to go for the big “D,” and just like that, Mommy get’s all of Daddy’s money. Well, this is not a happy thing, but all is Ok, because Patsy promised to give me a quarter every day, and I don’t even have to give her a dime anymore. And Bernard, he gets quarters from Patsy too, for doing like, nothing.
TEACHER: Not so fast, Timmy, Patsy only has twenty cents, and owes you and Bernard fifty. That means it’s ‘curtains’ for Patsy.
TIMMY: Oh no teacher, that’s where you are wrong. You see, Patsy will be just fine. All she has to do is hit the speed dial for her Uncle Sam, who might be a little grumpy, but will take care of all of us forever.
After a really bummed-out day, Senator Chris Dodd and Treasury Secretary Timmy Geitner enjoy "Seafood Nite" in the AIG executive dining room with host; Ed Liddy, CEO of AIG
WASHINGTON - After earlier vehemently denying all knowledge whatsoever, Senate Banking Committee Chairman Chris Dodd admitted in a full reversal on Wednesday he was indeed responsible for a legislative loophole that let AIG pay executives $165 million in bonuses, adding that he acted at the behest of the Obama administration.
The back-peddle was; “We wrote the language in the bill to deal with bonuses, golden parachutes, excessive compensation — executive compensation, that was adopted unanimously by the United States Senate in the stimulus bill,” said Dodd, a Connecticut Democrat.
And so, the language worked as intended, and that’s that. This explains how and why the AIG Financial Products boys are entitled to their taxpayer funded $165 million in bonuses.
Senator Chris "The Claw" Dodd vows to push for return AIG bonuses using clawback methods
As a side dish, Chris Dodd took in more than $103,000 in the 2008 election period from this same disaster division of AIG, based in Wilton, Connecticut. Dodd, serving since 1981, is the Senior Senator from the State of…Connecticut.
Not that it really matters, but it’s only fair to note that the Obama campaign too benefited from substantial AIG contributions.
1985 – Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, asks, “Who’s zoomin’ who, take another look, tell me baby, the fish jumped off the hook boy, who’s zoomin’ who?’
1991 – James Carville, Democrat campaign stratigist to Bill Clinton focuses on upseating then President George H.W. Bush, admonishing, “It’s the economy, stupid.”
2001 – Two weeks following the September 11 attacks terrorist’s attacks, President George W. Bush advised, “People …should go about their daily lives, to work, to live, to travel and to shop.”
2003 – Start of US-Iraq invasion/war/conflict “thing.”
2007 – With the recession looming, President George W. Bush laments,“This work begins with keeping our economy growing. And I encourage you all to go shopping more.”
2008 – Recession starts “officially” somewhere around January.
2008 – September: Republican Senator John McCain whilst campaigning for President, asserts his view, “I think, still, the fundamentals of our economy are strong.”
2008 – September: Democrat Senator and McCain challenger Barack Obama, disagrees with McCain on the economy, saying, “You don’t have to agree with me, you just need to vote.”
2009 – February 20, stocks slide to Depression era levels with the Standard & Poors 500 having lost 50% of their value in less than ten years, and the Dow slipping to an eleven year low of 7,302.
2009 – On March 4, President Barack Obama encourages buying stocks in saying, “What you’ve got now, is profit and earnings ratios are starting to get to the point where buying stocks is a potentially good deal.”
2009 – On March 8, Peter Orszag, the Obama Administration’s Director for the Office of Management and Budget (OMB), asserts, “Fundamentally, the economy is weak.”
2009 – On March 9, President Obama assures, “If we are keeping focused on all the fundamentally sound aspects of our economy…then we are going to get through this.”
2009 – On March 15, Christina Romer, Chief Economist for the Obama Administration, urges Americans to spend and – “Go out and buy that car.”
Just when I was starting to feel a return of that tingling sensation fondly remembered as understanding, yea comes President Obama with the unveiling of a cryptic logo for public recognition of his compellingly cryptic economic recovery plan.
Covered in the US Constitution, is that part about the Right to Bare Arms, which extends to national symbols of pride and stimulus logos.
Expressly stated, if and when they, including logos, come into use by the people and paid for by the people, all must;
a. get created after winning a government contract with bidding open to all (graphic designers), b. have actual meaning, and c. get posted to a ‘dot gov’ web site for scrutiny of the people for a review and comment period of not less than 48 hours.
Now, Ibid and Op.Cit and of the afore and such, as a graphics guy, I’m protesting a rights alienation violation here, in that nobody from the Department of Homeland Logos bothered to let me know about this monumental government gig. It was like, “poof, here’s the new logo.” Is this a smack-down to all that transparency in government jaw-boning or what?
I smell foul, because the guy who got this job, who is not getting a free link here, is the same guy who designed all of the Obama campaign logos. So much for change to the same old political systems of cronyism and throwup to your buds.
Anyhow, moving on, let’s spend a minute trying to figure out what message the Administration Logo Czar is attempting to parlay. In disection, and to the colors chosen, gone are our traditional red, white and blue, replaced by firebrick, lawngreen and darkcyan. Warm fuzzies be sure, but I’m not feeling stimulated. In thinking recovery; firebrick = working, at a blast furnace, maybe? Lawngreen = taking care of your yard prior to foreclosure? I don’t get it.
See the stars? Stars are good, but why eight? Does this mean that eight stimulus packages will need to be congressionally passed in order to get some recovery? Two four year terms for President Obama? Of the thirteen original Colonies, five were on the losing side in the War Between the States? Again, I’m lost.
How about the graphic in the lawngreen pie slice. To me, this looks like a Callaway golf driver with replaceable heads. More leisure time is right around the pie? Or, remember when cotton was grown in the United States? The cotton industry used to have a logo similar to this, so maybe a return to our farmer roots and contour plowing? I don’t know.
Lastly, the gears, or sprockets. I can equate this easily to work, but there again, I notice the gears here do not mesh, and one is missing an anchor bolt. A broken machine? Call the your recovery man for service? You tell me.
Mr. Obama talks about ending government waste and unnecessary spending and all, so I have to question the very need for a new logo. An Obama spokesman was quoted to defend in saying; “We just wanted a cool symbol that shouted ’stimulus.’” Well, news flash – it doesn’t “shout” anything. It’s a good thing the designer added the “RECOVERY.GOV” text, otherwise, at first blush, I’d think this thing was a tag intended to convey laundry do’s and don’ts for my underwear.
What would have been cool, affordable, and an all-around good gesture, would have been to pull an old “shovel-ready” logo out of retirement and putting it back to work. For me, naturally, the iconic and universally loved “Bert the Turtle” comes to the forefront. Bert was brilliant, genius even, and as a government spokesmodel, Bert had star power. In short, when it came to matters of Civil Defense, Bert was the go to guy, happening and cool; the “new black.”
Bert the Turtle tells all to "Duck and Cover"
During those Cold War days, there was no mistaking Bert’s “Duck and Cover” message, giving the government’s best plan in surviving the hit from a thermo-nuclear bomb. If you are not of that era, many of those bombs acted just like “pick-a-payment” mortgage loans, where the house and contents remain intact, but the inhabitants get ravaged.
In supporting recycling Bert, consider the following 1950 radio show dialog between some girl with the fitting name of “Patsy,” and Bert:
BERT THE TURTLE: There are other ways you can learn to duck and cover in case of danger.
PATSY: Like the things our teacher told us to do in case of an atom bomb?
BERT THE TURTLE: That’s right, the atom bomb is a new danger in our lives. It can surprise us at any time.
How much is it going to cost the taxpayers to replace the words; “Atom Bomb” with “Economic Meltdown?” Really. Clear message? Cool? Affordable? Yes, yes, and yes!
The Bert the Turtle haute couture look of today
Think about it. Re-introducing Bert is a win-win proposition all around. Everybody who is anybody is already sporting the Bert look, so nobody needs to spend a dime in preparation, and from the appearance of the way these de rigueur “day packs” are stuffed, Americans are in step ahead of econ-o-bombs and foreclosure fallout, smartly toting what remains of their household contents.
Yesterday, the Obama administration passed an important milestone, or perhaps millstone to them, having held a job for a full fifty days. Turning fifty is really not that big a deal, and it feels no different, but you do experience a heightened awareness of stuff, and start sensing an unexplainable urgency for the need to make changes.
Without a necktie and the usual East Room panache, President Obama inks postponement of the hard fought and fraught digital TV revolution for another day. Change happens though, with, or sometimes without you.
Remember the great nationwide DTV transition that was supposed to happen this past February? Well, three years and a billion bucks later, an executive decision was made to ‘back-burner’ the whole thing for a while.
But, time waits for nobody, especially in the TV business, where moguls salivate over more bandwidth. In case you haven’t noticed, 1,631 out of 1,760 full-power television stations across the US have already made the switch. Predictably, some folks are happy with the change, and others are less than, shall we say; ‘receptive.’
Amid much TV fanfare, and looking a bit more presidential, Mr. Obama signs the controversial stem cell thing to let everybody know he is in full support of letting scientists do scientific things, like searching for cures for diseases and problems and such.
Depending on your view, there’s good news and bad news here. First, the good: This “legislation” provides for no taxpayer or other funding, relegating that ‘minor’ detail to debate by Congress, schedule permitting, of course. The bad news, is that scientists have already pretty much confirmed that the cure for a sick economy is not hiding in embryonic stem cells.
While the search continues, take comfort in knowing the reproductive function of what’s left of your bank account remains unchanged. But, you should know that all things lose a little ’steam’ at fifty, be that in days or years.
…is not necessarily a bad thing (if you can get it) but, no play is – dull. Here’s an online “toy” worth checking.
FunPhotoBox is a free site where you can get creative with your photos and save or share the remarkable results on Facebook, MySpace, Digg and many others, or just send via email.
It is fast and easy as 1-2-3:
Step 1. Select an “effect” from a list of templates.
Step 2. Upload your photo and select any area of your image to be cropped.
Step 3. The photo is ready!
According to the site, templates change weekly – a smart way to keep you in work-avoidance mode for many return visits. Above is me mucking it up with some politician, and below, wishing to be a T-shirt.
It’s official. Well, nothing is official, until you see it in People. The Obama’s are not buying American, rather, they’re going for an import – a Portugese Water Hound, supposedly taking delivery this April, or so say the people at People.
If you’ve never done it, trust me – getting the right family dog ain’t easy, particularly if you’re going to get a later model, like the Obama’s. Their’s will be an older, rescue “Portie,” and you best do things like see how they do in your car and such before paying for the shots and tags.
To naming, Malia and Sasha are leaning toward “Frank” or “Moose,” and the First Lady; “really bad.”
WASHINGTON, DC 20001 – OK, everybody wants to know what that stuff was on Joe Biden’s forehead this morning. Speculation ran the gamut, from some Ash Wednesday religious ritual, to a ceremonial visit from the office staff of the Secretary of Indian Affairs.
None of this passed the smear test, as the source was actually a small, self-inflicted epidermal hematoma caused by the Vice President’s unfamiliarity with the proper use of taxpayer funded office supplies.
Usually, “sharp as a tack,” Biden suffered a “luddite lapse” today on the CBS “Early Show.” When asked for the Internet address of the government stimulus site, Biden confessed embarrassment for not remembering the web “number.” Of course, nobody gave the Veep any bleep, probably recalling President Obama’s Congressional admonishment last night to remember that, “nobody messes with Joe.”
It does, however, make you pause a bit to wonder what else the administration doesn’t know, but, bless his heart, and who cares – “URL,” “number,” – same thing. It’s not like making multi-billion dollar commitments to the US auto industry because cars were invented in Germany or such. I know.
And the late-night talk boys were concerned about not having George Bush to kick around. Wow.
Say it ain’t so! I just found out Bono will not be “spare-changing” the champagne, caviar, and capitalism crowd during this year’s 39th annual love, of moola, fest in Davos, Switzerland.
The five day world economic convivium of the au courant kicks off this Wednesday, per usual, in Switzerland’s largest ski resort and highest (geographically) city.
Speaking of “high,” the cost of inclusion starts at $50,000.00 per crystal flute, increasing to $435,000.00 for “strategic partners” with parties of five. Savvy travelers are well advised to pull up to an ATM upon arrival and swap-out US for Euros at $1.29.
According to organizers, this year’s theme centers around shaping the world, after the economic crisis ends, replete with 230 working seminar opportunities available for those with any interest in not working the slopes, or possibly needing a tax deductible expense.
Attendees concerned about the future of their relevance, if any, include taxpayer assisted delegations from Bank of America and Citigroup, with no word from AIG. B of A had no comment as to why their representation was cut to four, however, John Thain is admirally busy in clearing out his office, and somebody from the bank needs to stay home and finish up funding for today’s pharma acquisition and merger of Pfizer and Wyeth.
Notably absent is soon to be US chief tariff taker; Tim Geithner, detained over an untimely and pesky Senate misunderstanding of the challenges he endured for years in having to use TurboTax, the Federal Edition. Picking up his swag, fittingly, will be Barack Obama’s newly appointed National Security Adviser, James Jones, as well as Larry Summers, head of the National Economic Council.
Old crowd faces include former Arkansan Bill Clinton and oil heir Al Gore. We’re hoping Bill still has his voice after his keynote appearance this week at the sparsely attended US auto dealers trade show in New Orleans (NADA), but, just in case, his reported fee of $350,000 will buy plenty of Swiss Ricola to suck, or maybe a Saab to get the Mrs. Hillary to her new job.
A spokesman for Sir Paul Hewson, better known by stagename; “Bono,” says he’s taking a pass to “tend to his day job,” and is “working on an album.” One…can only hope that U2 will have something better soon.
Economic groupies and star seekers will be pleased to know this year’s show will take on a decidedly “Eastern influence,” thanks to the inclusion of crowd faves; the Chinese martial artist Jet Li and Bollywood’s own, Amitabh Bachchan.
“Is it getting better, or do you feel the same?” is a question you too can socially follow on YouTube and/or MySpace, blogged almost live by teenagers invited as “ambassadors” to the World Economic Summit in Davos.
We’ll see. While it may be politically expedient to scapegoat the auto industry into re-writing the laws of physics, instead, we stand to be better served if we simply take responsibility and stop – serving ourselves!
Using all venues to express empathy with the public’s economic neuralgia, President Obama hosted an “LCD-side chat,” over the Internet last night, cherry-picking six of the 92,000 questions or concerns deemed worthy of presidential feedback. Ostensibly, marijuana was high on the list, and Mr. Obama lit up the crowd in laughter with his thoughts.
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