Lösungen

BE ON THE UP and UP WITH YOUR CHILDREN:

Let’s face it: rearing children in a recession is not easy. Sure, it’s nowheres’ near as hard as when you had to ride the bus to school and stuff, but still, it’s a bear.

Experts agree, it’s best to be open with your kids when it comes to talking about life-altering issues like safe sex, the birds and the bees (possible unsafe sex), and credit default swaps. Teach your children well, because, if they don’t catch a glow from you, they’ll just pick it all up in grad school or on Wall Street somewheres’ else.

SOMEWHERE IN SAY, CONNECTICUT, USA…

Timmy Geithner volunteers the real dope on Credit Default Swaps to his Derivatives class.

TEACHER: Ok, class, let’s open our books to Derivatives, and who can give us an example of a Credit Default Swap?

TIMMY: (giving furious hand wave) Well, it’s like this. Every day, like clockwork, Daddy, who has more money than Carter has liver pills, gives me a quarter for milk money. Patsy, here says; “Chump, no way he’s going to be able to keep that up, but if you give me a dime every day, I promise that when your Daddy goes broke and quits, you will still get a quarter every day.” So, I’m thinking, hmm, this is not a bad thing, because, knowing Daddy, well, better to be safe than sorry.

Now, Bernard back there hears what’s going on, and asks; “Hey Patsy, I got a dime, how can I get a piece of that action?” Well, Patsy gives him the same deal, and feels pretty happy with herself for getting twenty cents for like, doing nothing.

Now, out of the blue, Mommy and Daddy decide to go for the big “D,” and just like that, Mommy get’s all of Daddy’s money. Well, this is not a happy thing, but all is Ok, because Patsy promised to give me a quarter every day, and I don’t even have to give her a dime anymore. And Bernard, he gets quarters from Patsy too, for doing like, nothing.

TEACHER: Not so fast, Timmy, Patsy only has twenty cents, and owes you and Bernard fifty. That means it’s ‘curtains’ for Patsy.

TIMMY: Oh no teacher, that’s where you are wrong. You see, Patsy will be just fine. All she has to do is hit the speed dial for her Uncle Sam, who might be a little grumpy, but will take care of all of us forever.

Now you know. End.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 20th, 2009 at 12:56 am and is filed under Losungen. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.